My brother.  I tried but I just couldn't keep it together today. I woke up instantly thinking of you like I have for the past 14 mornings.  You're in my minds eye constantly, when I try to go to sleep, when I wake up, all during the day.  Your face is there and I'm grateful for that.   I find it hard to concentrate at times.  There is so much I am feeling and want to tell you, but mostly I just cry.   You are my little brother.  I've naturally spent most of my life wanting and trying to protect you.  I couldn't protect you this time and I'm sorry.  Why didn't you wear a helmet? Why didn't you take Greenway home instead of Waddell?  You were so close to home.  So close.

My mind spins about the "why." I can't make any sense of it and I know I never will.  I shake my head left and right because of the "why."   I shake my head left and right whenever I'm feeling the sorrow and the unbelievable reality that you are not with us on this earth anymore.  

My brother, my friend. It's just too much. I miss you love you.